By Suzette

I know I had the discussion with my surgeon before my surgery as to what my healthy weight needed to be.  He gave me the numbers and that became my goal.  First to drop below being obese, to the healthy weight goal we had chosen.

Of course I would like to be the weight I was when I married, 123 pounds.  Realistically, I just wanted to be at a safe weight.

Yesterday, out of the blue, I got a text from someone very close to me who has an eating disorder.  Her Doctor had realized that she at 5’5” was at 17.5 BMI.  She does not work out, but she does binge eat  then, starve herself.  At 105 pounds she is in serious trouble but in her “thinking” she is perfect.  She is 11 years younger than me and and looks older than my 66 years.

As a friend I have struggled with what to say to her.  Then I realized, that a few years ago I was at the opposite end of the spectrum and no one said anything to me!  I’m sure they thought it but did I have a friend set me down and explain how I was killing myself, NO!  Didn’t happen.

Not being nourished affects our thinking and actions.  At which ever place on the BMI scale we are we have to be nourished.  Taking vitamins and supplements can help only after beginning to nourish our bodies.  Nourishment is more than just eating for the sake of eating!  Nourishment is Eating to live not Living to eat, or in my friends case not eating and trying to live….

I don’t know if having lost a tremendous amount of weight has made me aware of how wide the spectrum of healthy can be and how wide the spectrum of unhealthy can be.  I know this sounds like a contradiction but really, once your thinking is changed the spectrum of healthy become wide and limitless.  Those who are eating unhealthy think we are narrow, but in reality if their world of food they think is so wide becomes a program that causes health issues that limit their thinking?

I know that can be perplexing, and it is, but when we “change our thinking” we want to help change other’s thinking.  Just like the folks on the new “diet” that have to wear a patch and drink supplements.  Yep, 10-20 pounds it works fine, but for a truly obese person the rebound can be dangerous and long term.   An no matter what the “sales literature” says, it will happen to the person who has a disorder.  There are so many of us it is frightening how we are being taken advantage of, financially and emotionally.  That is a whole blog in itself.

Do you ever go to a restaurant and see folks that you want to go up to and hug and say there is an answer to your weight problem?  Do you ever want to sit down and have a conversation with kids and say, all that sugar all that simple carb your eating is going to cause you problems down the road.

When my girls were growing up, I was overweight and trying to feed a family of 7 a reasonably balanced diet.   Protein, veg and a starch for every dinner, which was about the only meal we had together.  Three, would eat normally for the most part, but the twins were always eating cereal, by the box, McDonald’s and boxed mac and cheese.  Three were overweight but did not eat as much as the twins at any meal.  Today, the three are at reasonably normal weights, yes, Jen did have WLS, but the tiny, 80 pound twins are now sick with health issues that cannot be solved by just losing weight.  They will always suffer because of their childhood diets.

These are things I cannot change but wish I had been harder about.  Today we are teaching the grand kids about better eating, nourishing their bodies and their minds.  Because if the body is not nourished, the mind just doesn’t function.

Today I have been writing about things that are really heavy on my heart.  I know there are things I cannot change and things I must accept and move on.  My thinking has changed so much in the last few years that I know there are better ways of doing everything.  Better ways of eating, thinking and of course better ways to have a good relationship with family and friends.

I will figure out a way to help my friend.  I would love for her to go the “Shades of Hope” but she does not have the money for that investment.  But she can read so I will be sending her a copy of Tennie McCarty’s book and asking her to read it.  That may be the only thing I can do until she asks for help and truly accepts help.

Send me your thoughts at or on FaceBook at our closed group Official 7Bites Group.  I know many of you have these feeling and stories and I would like to hear them.